Monday, 31 March 2008

Mezzo: Winter Edition

Step aside Club Penguin: there's a new bird in town

This is a very good but slow puzzler that kept me hunched down, trying to beat all the puzzles. The concept is simple enough, but very good levels and difficult challenges kept blocking me on my way to beating the free version (you have to buy the full version)

Pros: Fun and interactive, puzzling, you need a brain for this
Cons: you need a brain for this, only 30 levels (100 more can be bought wtf?)

Overall, if you have a brain and enjoy puzzle games, this is a MUST try for you! 85%

Thing Thing 2

Another reason why you shouldn't play with guns kids!

Oh boy! Thing Thing 2, one of the older installments in the legendary Thing Thing collection! Violent games may be leading in popularity, but Thing Thing 2 drags down their lead by a lot.
One good thing about this was that it's an easy badge to get on

This game actually could have had great potential, if it weren't for the fact the guy who made this decided to put recoil in the game. I know, recoil is good and realistic, but once you play Thing Thing 2, you realize that the recoil in that game screwed it over. I had to aim at the top left of the screen in order to shoot left center, and that wasn't fun. There was no variety in any of the different levels, which also dragged Thing Thing 2 closer to scorpios' game Asteroids, which is pretty bad.

It's a game in the Thing Thing series, and it's an easy badge to get on kongregate
Cons: Stupid recoil, no level variety, easy to beat
Besides the fact this game is an easy badge on kongregate, I'd rather lick milk off a piece of shit than play this game again. 5%


Poker fans beware!

Recently, I was invited to beta test Kongai on the website of
I have to admit, first impressions were good. What began bugging me early on was how the game was sort of laggy although it didn't have much animation. If you have a really good computer, you shouldn't run into this problem, but Kongai should be able to appeal to all kinds of computers. Secondly, the gameplay had a lot of Magic: The Gathering references (which isn't that big of a deal, besides the fact that Kongai isn't that 'original' in that sense). Thirdly, you needed to be a certain level on your Kongregate account. No offense, but are you trying to drive off potential customers? I suggest lowering that cap from around level 17 to like level 10 at least.

What I did like were the many options in the game: to regain mana, switch out and intercept cards that were switching out, and other cool things like multiple attacks and starter cards. What I did not like about the gameplay was the fact that you needed mana to attack and you couldn't regenerate lost health, but that's about it. Another awesome thing was the fairness: Players who unlocked more cards can only choose 5 of them, making it fair for noobs to test out their skill.

Pros: Many gameplay options, challenging, starter cards, fairness of matches, online multiplayer matches
Cons: Lags on average computer, lack of health regeneration, under level 20's not allowed (I got lucky I guess?), need mana for all attacks

Overview: Kongai out performs many card games, but fails to get past Magic: The Gathering and poker games. However, it is a very interesting experience that will leave its players with very different thoughts and opinions. 80%; dropped down a bit because of the level 20 rule.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

Dark Cut

Let it bleed!

This flash game was interesting and rather fun. It was painstakingly hard to do some of the things that the Doctor told you to do though, and it was rather gory and bloody.

Pros: Fun and interesting, good time-waster
Cons: Some things were hard, extremely gross

Overall: If you have a weak stomach and don't have much time and patience, steer clear of this game!

Saturday, 29 March 2008


Hello #21483095, I am a "PORTAL" wannabee

Shift isn't that bad actually. It had lots of creativity, and very nice ways to interact with your surroundings. What ticked me off was the numerous PORTAL references, and how SHIFT tries to make itself look cool by doing this. In the end, you'll think you're playing a fun but gay looking game.

Pros: Fun and interesting, no rush at all, when u die, restarts u on tat level
Cons: So many stupid PORTAL references...playing this makes you look like a dorky n00b

Overall: Shift is a great platformer that was hindered by its many stupid references- 88%

Boxhead: The Zombie Wars

Live free or die hard...or kick some zombie ass

Sean Cooper is a better animator than Brad Bourne, creator of FancyPants. Sean's latest game in the Boxhead series is perfect as well. Not only are the graphics revamped (requiring latest flash player bugged me), but new weapons, new zombies, and the addition of the awesome AI turrets made me feel as if I was doing a little Tarpit Defense on Starcraft.

Pros: Lots of new stuff, new 'defense mode' similar to Tarpit Defense, graphically revamped
Cons: You need latest flash player, no two player anymore, only 4 maps in classic and defense mode.

Overall: Boxhead: The Zombie Wars is a game that is worth updating your flash player for. 98% out of 100

Back from Japan

Hey yall, spent Spring Break in Japan. (no wifi)
So I'm going to be reviewing two games today.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Stormwinds, and The Ladykillers

Okay, The Ladykillers is a great movie I saw today. (Google it, and click on the older film). A daring heist goes wrong, and an old lady forces a band of 5 crooks to return the money. Obviously, the crooks object, and pull straws to kill the woman. Unfortunately, talk is cheap...

Stormwinds. The legendary tower defense game thingy. That...SUCKS. First of all-No auto fire? Secondly-Gay glitches, and the game gets too hard too early. 3/5

Balloon Invasion. If you thought Stormwinds was bad, you don't want to play this. The Air-Strike idea was creative. Too bad gameplay sucked hard ass. 1/5

Tuesday, 18 March 2008


Defend your stupid little garden from tar bugs that infect the water! There are 3 different bugs, and three different mouse boxing techniques to choose from. Flowers will sprout and whoop the bugs' asses.
This was a funny game. Whoever thought of bugs vs flowers is a creative genius. The gameplay was also very inventive; depending on the direction you hold the mouse down and drag, different colored flowers would fly out to defend the garden! There were no major issues, besides the sad fact that this game could have been longer, and that the final boss could have been a little harder.
Overall rating: 4.5/5

Monday, 17 March 2008

Stick Arena

Here's a good multiplayer map. Good connection, okay graphics, addicting and fun. The rankings are pretty awesome too, depending on kills instead of wins. It's always fun to own n00bs who dare come near you.
Unfortunately, some fed-up noobs decide to download hacks that make their guys invincible, teleport around, and attack at such a fast rate that he'd kick your ass with his fists (while you have a sledge hammer). Another annoying thing I noticed was that the server almost NEVER logged my kills. I frustratingly played dozens of games to make it to rank 3, when I should have gone up 5 games ago.
Overall, this game is only good if you don't mind the gay servers, and if you join a game that doesn't have a hacking n00b.

Cutting the Crap

Okay, I'm a fricking teenager. Not some geeky n00b who plays games all day. First off, screw the introduction. That's a waste of, uh, everyone's time. Next, I don't care who made the fucking game: I'm putting my own honest opinions on some not so good flash games!!